Group A
Wednesday, 5pm
Portugal v Czech Republic

Reasons to be cheerful:

- Portugal have never been awarded a penalty at a European Championships. Good, serves them right for what they do to us from 12 yards.
- You can still pick up a pint of beer in Prague for 75p a pint.
- Having notched a silly number of times in Euro 2004, a potential recall for Milan Baros could sound a goal frenzy.

Reasons to be fearful:

- Portuguese keeper Quim is out. Still, after Francesco stayed at home, the Quim-Totti gag was never really gonna work, was it?
- The Czechs are ready to pull out their secret weapon ... Reading defender Marek Matejovsky.
- Big Phil Scolari and Gene Hackman are actually the same person.

Open Goal Hysteria Hunch:

Both of these sides are one step away from the quarter-finals, and even defeat would still leave them well fancied to progress. We therefore have all the potential of an entertaining tea-time clash.

We predict (out of 10): 6 yodels.