Here at Open Goal we like tinkering with things in a bid to make them better. We’re planning to bring you the world’s best free footy mag in August and earlier on we attached an mp3 player to the kettle so that it’ll play Sly Stone’s ‘Thank You (Falettinme Be Mice Elf Again) when it’s boiled. Now we’re turning our attentions to the FA Cup. The ‘jewel in English football’s crown’ (© every newspaper every May) is a dead duck, a lame dog, a wheezing donkey, a tired ant. Feel free to add your own variations on our ‘knackered animal’ theme and share them with your friends if you like. The really big clubs couldn’t give a hoot about it and often end up winning it by accident, while the clubs pushing for Europe regard it as a distraction and shed no tears if they get knocked out.

As for those at the bottom of the Premier League; well, they’re too concerned about beating the drop and are happy to field weakened teams. That’s right – teams full of players who are worse than the useless buggers who have sucked them into the drop zone in the first place.

The only excitement in the competition comes from the upsets caused by plucky upstarts from the lower leagues. But they’re not really upsets any more because the big guns couldn’t actually give two hoots about being beaten. It’s a shocking state of affairs.

So here’s our proposal – play all of the matches from the third round onwards at the end of the season. All of it, over a three-week period, like a World Cup tournament. In the manner of a seeded tournament, draw the entire thing out in advance so that clubs and fans have a reasonable idea of who they might be playing, and the police and authorities know where and when matches could be played.

Sure, the big boys will still cock their snooks at it, as their Champions League places will be in the bag but it’ll act as a massive sexy UEFA Cup spot play-off for everyone else, and we’ll get to see some really exciting football as the season draws to a close and the matches come thick and fast. No more hedging of bets and weakened sides – just full-scale drama as the winner gets European footy and a big bag of cash.

You know what – they could even raise some extra dosh by playing the quarter and semi finals abroad. Is that such a bad idea?

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