And it all sounds pretty promising from the 4-page press release that was slapped down on my desk yesterday. It orates with some grace:

"Responsible for both Arsenal and Liverpool FC merchandise, George has brought the latest fashion styles for the whole family to the football ground. George's passion for fashion and experience in football has influenced these stylish leisurewear collections. On and off the pitch, the range illustrates its flexibility as both sports and fashionwear."

Sounds pretty good eh? Read it and weep Vivienne.

Except, there's a problem. I'm willing to gloss over the fact that the artist's impression implies that the superstore has been thrown into the empty shell of a 1960s multi-storey car park. So I'm still reaching into my deep pockets to extract that trusty cheque book, when it dawns on me that George and co don't seem to have finished their stock check! The idiots!

Yes yes, we've got tracksuits, t-shirts, shorts, socks, alarm clocks, bed sheets, mouse mats, engagement rings etc etc ... the usual. But there's still tons missing. I've scribbled a little list below and am going to send this off to George and his bungling colleagues ..

- Commemorative Kevin Keegan perm wig
- False boob party set as showcased by Titi ..Camara
- Anfield Rap remix CDs by Rigobert Song
- David Speedie narcotics display
- Harry Kewell's autobiography,
.."Work is for mugs"

And to conclude, what about those club-branded shaving sets? Then, it dawned on me; you've got more chance of shifting copies of The Sun in Liverpool than you have anything with Gillett(e) on it.