RINGMASTER KEV MAKES
DRAMATIC EXIT – 5/2

Soccer Circus supremo and occasional football manager Kevin Keegan to make himself disappear in a puff of smoke on the St. Andrews touchline as Newcastle crash to another defeat against Birmingham City.

AGENT CURBS WIRED FOR SOUND
– 2/1

Alan Curbishley announcing to anyone who’ll listen that he’s wired up and recording all of his conversations as part of his battle against the media and their ‘agenda’ against him. He’s not paranoid you know. He knows you all think he is, but he’s not.

FAT FRANK GOES SOLO
– 10/1

Huffy Frank Lampard announces he’s buying himself out of his contract and starts his own team, Lamps FC. As his Chelsea team mates play Sunderland, Frank has a game with himself outside the Stadium Of Light, using a goal he has drawn on a wall with some chalk.