"I am not a number, I'm a free man," bellowed the Prisoner. Greedy sod, he should have been grateful, because Coventry City striker Paul Williams is remembered in the tomes of football folly by just a solitary letter. Yes, one blessed letter.

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HAWAY THE TOON
TUESDAY 18th MARCH 2008

There's not one person I know who doesn't want Newcastle United v Carlisle United to be plucked out of the Championship fixture tombola next season.

The Toon's struggles have transformed what should have been a predictably turgid Premier League relegation scrap into another voyeuristic peek into the misery of "the best fans in the world" (TM).

So why do we crave fallen giants, showing an unhealthily interest in sides we'd never normally give a chuff about?




Dunno and don't care Sigmund, but make no mistake I displayed all the usual symptoms last night. Checking the league table before kick-off and adding on 'Birmingham City +3', letting out an ever-so-slightly homosexual yelp (in public) when McFadden scored, revelling in Steve 'his eyes never used to be that close together' McManaman's half-time Magpie mauling, before having it all shot to shit when short-arse Owen equalised.

So I went to bed feeling slightly conned by the whole thing. Laying there, I couldn't even magic up some visuals of puffy red-eyed Geordies, and God knows I tried. Instead, just the sound of Jasper Carrott in my lugholes.

I know it's perverse, but I'd love it, just love it, if Newcastle went to Brunton Park next year.

In the meantime, anybody know who Leeds are playing this week?

 

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