Seems that Real Madrid have reckoned without the Mum factor in their pursuit of Manchester United's Cristiano Ronaldo.

All this talk of £75million transfers and potential marketing spin-offs worth something close fo £1/2billion is all very well, but this could be one big old non-starter in the same league as Robert Fleck's unfortunate sojourn at Chelsea.

While Big Ron has put a button on it, claiming he won't answer any questions on the chances of his move, the old girl Dolores Aveiro (his Mum) has chipped in, rolling her r's and knocking out some typically over-expressive Portuguese hand gestures, whilst supposedly telling the 23-year-old old to stay put in Manchester.

Madrid's all very well, but Dolores eveidently knows which side her bread is buttered on, as will anyone else who has spent an afternoon at the G-Mex, followed by a Holly Johnson personal appearance down Canal Street. Damn right.

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