With their charmed lives, huge pots of wodge and the gushing adulation engulfing them from every angle, it’s little wonder that footballers are seen by normal people as nothing more than overgrown children.

Well now they can fully regress to primary school level with this exclusive Hot Wheels car, a limited edition of just one and available for a figure in the region of just £70,000.

Knocked together by celebrity Hollywood jeweller Jason of Beverly Hills (OG’s regular bling-peddler), it contains more than 2,700 diamonds and weights 23 carats in total, with the car itself cast in 18-carat white gold. Rubies for tail lights anyone?

MOST LIKELY TO BUY IT: Jermain Defoe. The little hot shot’s team mate David James is an avid collector of toy cars, but he’s also blessed with maturity and common sense. However, if he were to leave a catalogue lying around the Pompey dressing room with this in it, we reckon Jermain would be ordering it for himself in under a minute. <<back to diary home