More zen pearls of wisdom in the Arsenal skipper's advice column

Dear William,

My neighbour has a security light which partially shines into my
bedroom. It's slightly annoying but I don't want to make a fuss or
overreact and cause bad feeling. What should I do?

Len, Watford.

William says,

Overreact? I do not know the meaning of this word. Bad feeling? You
must put on your finest silks and dine at the table of bad feeling. Do
this – you must get into your car and drive it around and around this
idiot's front lawn. Then you must get fireworks, wrap them in bags of
animal shit and fire them at his house. Only then will he know how
serious his transgression has been. Zut alors!

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