As the end of the season draws near, here’s part one of our guide to the teams who are battling to avoid the drop…

DERBY COUNTY

After their play-off victory against West Brom in May, some of the Rams stars were in tears. That's because they knew this season would be a fruitless exercise and that they were down before a ball had even been kicked.

VERDICT: RELEGATED!

FULHAM

If you got points for making grandiose courthouse claims about dead princesses, Fulham would have wrapped up the league title last month. But you don't – you get points for skill, endeavour and winning football matches, something which Fulham are utterly incapable of.

VERDICT: RELEGATED!

READING

Steve Coppell is not to be trusted. For legal reasons, we are unable to elaborate further on this statement. But we repeat, Steve Coppell is not to be trusted.

VERDICT: RELEGATED!

BOLTON WANDERERS

Selling Nicolas Anelka was the craziest decision since Thatcher proposed to tax people according to the length of their hair. Bolton should have forced Le Sulk to stay at the club by any means necessary. Cash, hypnosis or the threat of a good old-fashioned neck-breaking. But they didn't. And they will surely fail.

VERDICT: RELEGATED!

WIGAN ATHLETIC

Handing the steering wheel to a relegation stalwart like Steve Bruce is like putting David Walliams in charge of a sixth form girls school – a recipe for turmoil, heartache and electrical failure. Well done Wigan, the chute awaits thee.

VERDICT: RELEGATED!

<<back to diary home