We all make mistakes, and Steve Claridge was smart enough to own up to his this week... not that he had much choice, after concocting a very leaky story to police.

The clearly-flushed 42-year-old was given a suspended jail sentence and made to do 150 community service after being caught pelting it down fast lane at 100mph in treacherous conditions in December 2006.

Now that crime was bad enough, but Claridge then soiled his constitution even more when declaring that he was only going that fast because he was in desperate need of the loo!

With blood rushing to his aching bowels there clearly wasn't enough heading North as, incredulously, he then refused to give his name to a police officer.

Now I must admit in my bloody-minded youth to having once pulled this trick. It's not big, it's not clever, and invariably it lands you in more trouble. But then again, my face is so unremarkable I could get away with it.

I would hazard a guess that someone who has played for ... Fareham, Bournemouth (twice), Weymouth (twice), Palace, Aldershot, Cambridge (twice), Luton, Birmingham, Leicester, Portsmouth (twice), Millwall (twice), Brighton, Brentford, Wycombe, Gillingham, Bradford and Walsall, plus managed Portsmouth, Weymouth and Millwall, plus scored a winning goal in a Cup Final, and appeared as a pundit on Sky Sports numerous times... might probably be deemed a bit more recognisable...

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