As fixtures go, we're way past scraping the bottom of the barrel here, and have resorted to gouging large chunks out of the bastard. Derby gave up pretty much as soon as they lifted the play-off trophy last year while Fulham's away record could fit nicely into a Harry Hill sketch.

But wait. This fixture is so bad I almost feel compelled to show an unhealthy interest in it. It's degrading, and even a bit perverse, and to that end, I am delighted to announce it as my 'Hot Fixture of the Weekend'. I'm going to bet half my weekly wage on more than six goals, watch minute-by-minute updates on Teletext, and even listen to Lee Dixon's post-match analysis on MOTD .. assuming I can stay awake until gone midnight when they apologetically shovel the highlights on at the end of the show.

There's too much good football around these days and it's getting dull. We're stuck in a rut of Mr Sheen-esque quality, so let the rebellion begin.

I'll post my experiences on Monday's diary, though please email in your unwavering support of crap football, no matter which bunch of footballing nobodies you've had the displeasure of wasting your money on.

It's still football, right? And how bad can it get?
Well lets find out ..