Football as we know it is over. Finished. Kaput.

Know why? Try and see if you can figure out what linked the three goalscorers in last Sunday's Carling Cup Final.

In case you've forgotten, they were Didier Drogba, Dimitar Berbatov and Jonathan Woodgate.

There's a clue in the pic at the top of this page.

That's right, they were all wearing Alice bands. One major cup final, three separate scorers and every one of them done out in the headgear of a small girl.

Football's crying out for Popeyes and all we're getting is a bunch of Olive Oyls.

Metrosexuality? Bah!

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